Well hmm, yesterday i wrote an entry but for some reason it didn't post correctly. Oh well...

My grandpa who was previously lost in the mail has been found. He arrived at my dad's house yesterday. I wonder what we'll do with him now. Oh yeah, for those of you that didn't know yet.. my grandpa died and we had him cremated.

I'm at work on break right now, and i think i might take that time from now on to write in this journal... at least most days anyways.

Hampy is mad at me. I told him i would come back online the other day and I didn't... I did have other things to do but i also didn't come back because I knew he didn't really want to talk to me anyways. If he did want to talk to me, like he says he did... then why do we sit in yahoo and never say anything? He doesn't even call me emy anymore it's always just hello or emily. So, I understand he's hurt that i'm not around as much as he would want, but when I do come around he's actually quite cold to me, and he wonders why I don't stay and chat long. I don't want to sit there and talk to myself all afternoon hampy... if you really want to talk to me then talk. I'm not saying this to be hurtful or anything, i just don't think i should be made to feel guilty about something that isn't entirely my fault.

Anyways, back to my manual labor... :) I actually kinda like it :)

LOVES

On monday night my grandparents got into a car accent in Roswell. My nana broke a rib, and a clavicle, and has a collapsed lung. She was flown to a hospital in Albuquerque. My grandpa didn't seem too hurt at first so he stayed at a facility in roswell but recently he started acting really weird and became belligerent and so they had to sedate him. He stopped breathing twice and so they're moving him off to texas.

As of right now all my grandparents are still alive, and i've never witnessed a death in the family. Two of my grandparents might die now, the ones i'm the closest to even. I'm so worried about them and I'm unbelievably sad. What makes it even sadder to me is that if one should die...or both, they won't be anywhere near each other. :(

I'm really pissed off at god right now. If he doesn't take my grandparents just yet i might consider speaking to him... but as it is right now i'm really mad.

I worked all day today. I hate data entry. I was really excited when i got to go back to my regular shop duties...but then they found more data entry for me to do :( I'm listening to The Temple of the Winds...on cassette when i work which is really interesting and makes the data entry tolerable.

I went to gabe's with jess. We had some tofu curry that gabe made and it was SO yummy, and some tea. It was nice and relaxing. Josh C and Zach gabe over to make shadowrun characters with gabe. I always thought Josh was a cutie...he a really good dresser... mmm Then of course when i got home it was nap time..

ANYWAYS

I'm pooped. Going to bed early tonight.

LOVES

Well, we got lots and lots of snow :) 3-5 ft which is a lot. Due to a collapsing overhang on our pack patio, our electricity meter was ripped off the side of the house. We lost power..had to bum around in the dark for a while :)

Spring break now. I'm disappointed that i won't be able to see Eoin. Instead I get to hang around here and work all week which isn't my idea of a fun vacation. Work = money...which is a plus i suppose.

I watch a lot of war coverage on TV. Basically if my TV is on, it's on Fox News. I find it very interesting. I don't want anyone to die.... esp our troops. It makes me really really sad to hear about allied POWs, i can't imagine their suffering.

I'm slowly going insane here...i feel trapped in CO atm. I really love colorado and i think it's the best place in the world, but i really really don't want to be here right now.

I'll write again soon. LOVES

My DSL got disconnected yesterday. I'm really pissed about it. My mom hasn't paid the phone bill since we moved in and they disconnected the phone about 2 weeks ago. We haven't recieved a bill for the DSL yet, but it is probably attached to the one my mom hasn't paid for the phone in months..and so they disconnected that too. I'm going to get a phone line in my name (in my room only) and then i'll be able to use my dialup. God I hate my mother sometimes.

I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up to Chas whining to get outside and many times because of overheating. I ended up leaving my window open for majority of the night.

This huge ass blizzard ruined any St Patrick's Day bar plans I had. At least I have new tires...

Today i bought new tires. I HAD to because one of my old tires was leaking air and it made a really loud clicking noise. I only bought 2 tires, for the front...they seem to be working just fine :) Unfortunetly they cost me $110 that i don't really have to be spending on tires...but i HAD to get them, cars don't work very well without tires.

I went down to my dad's house and helped them lay down some flagstone... shoveling little pea rock and laying down heavy slabs of stone is hard work. I'm so pooped...and it's only 1am.

I want to play some more bomberman. I'm completely readdicted... i hate bomberman withdrawl.

Oh, i was thinking the other day about HS... and how if I knew then what I know now... just how f'in awesome that would be. I would go and snag this one certain guy... I wont mention his name here... but OHHH LORD would i pounce.

ANYWAYS :) sweet dreams.

LOVES

This morning i was woken up my the insurance company (jus' burrito's property insurance) they told me that they are denying my claim because according to their investigation their insured (jus; burritos) was not negligent in the case of the dumpster blowing into my car. What a way to start the day. They're sending me a statement in the mail, and once we get that then we're going to take it to my dad and sharon's lawyer and we'll probably take them to civil court? I think that's how that works.

I went to dinner with John, and Chris and Arvin. I saw Alicia Norris at Chipotle...which was weird. I didn't talk to her but i waved. Then we went back to John and Chris' apartment and played bomberman on gamecube...DAMN Chris is good at that game, and really competitive. I didn't win once :(

I've been hobbling around today because last night at Carlin's new apartment her coffee table fell over on my fut...she was on top of the fall...oddly enough.. so about 150 lbs came crashing down on my foot focused all on a few toes...it REALLY hurt. Now i have a bruise that i'm sure goes all the way to and through the bone :) It hurt all night too, and woke me up in my sleep when my blankets would hit it wrong. Nothing is broken tho, my dad tugged on my toes today and they didn't hurt...only pushing hurts.

Gabe was supposed to call me and let me know of any parties tonight, but he completely forgot about me. I called his house around 10:30 and preston (i think that's who answered the phone) said that he had gone out with his friends 90 mins before....GRRR gabe, i REALLY wanted to go out tonight too. There had better be a party tomorrow at grayson's house with lots of hottub action and a few certain really cute guys!

Uhh, I think that's everything new :) OH GABE, i need yo email so i can send you info about a teaching job in japan open to CS ppl...i think you might be interested in it.

LOVES

Gabe you turd you didn't call me. CALL ME! WE NEED TO HAVE TEA!

John called me today and asked me out for wednesday. He's going to pick me up and we're going to Dave and Busters. It will be fun but i'm not sure if he knows i don't want a relationsip. I have to figure out some way to let him know without crushing the poor guy's feelings. :( Why can't girls and guys ever just be friends...someone always has to be attracted to the other one :( Any advice ppl???

I had this crazy dream the other night about Jordan...it wasn't porn, or even soft porn...but I wouldn't mind sitting with him in a hottub sometime... rar

LOVES

I never really recognized that i have sexual power until recently. I guess i knew that i did with gabe to a certain extent. I'm so confused about guys recently. Maybe i'll have to have tea with gabe soon and he can give me some advice. I'll give him a call tomorrow. Or if anyone else wants to pump some advice my way you can give me a call for more details on the issues :) :)

I went to the 'dress to get laid' party on saturday night. I actually had lots and lots of fun. My stomach hurt all night and it was shooting pain up into my neck which was really freaky, so that kinda sucked. Next time there's a party ppl should really let me know. I think they all think that i don't like to go, but i really do enjoy going and seeing my friends....Jordan says he has the same problem...so let him know too guys...we're feeling unloved here. Matt tried to get my sister to drink behind my back...I don't think that was very nice. I like Matt, but i think when someone says they're not drinking tonight and they're 16 that it should be left at that (ESP when they have warrants out for their arrest and 3 unresolved drinking tickets already) :) Just my opinion i guess....

I should head off to bed. Sweet dreams :)

LOVES

I wrote a little this morning. I then went off to work. BEFORE i stopped at work i went to this burrito place a block from my house. I parked, went in, got my burrito, and walked out. Maybe a total of 2 mins. When i walked out i looked at my car and thought "gee, i didn't park next to a dumpster" IT TURNS OUT...in the 2 mins i was in getting a burrito, the wind blew a dumpster into my car causing 1660.29 worth of damages. I'm afraid of what's going to happen to me tomorrow.

My mom came home today. She has smell back in her left nostril..but not her right. I don't know how that happens, but that's what she says.

We don't know if we're going to get the phone hooked up again. SIGH.

I'll probably write again later after i get poisoned, or maybe pecked to a bloody pulp by birds, or maybe my dad will get electrocuted or something. We'll see....wish me luck.

LOVES

My mom is doing ok. She fractured her skull and has brain hemorraging. She seems to have lost her senses of taste and smell. When she talked to my brother and sister about it she said "for good" but i don't see how they know they won't come back gradually over time. In my experience doctors aren't that smart. She's still in the hospital, no word on when she's coming home.

My home phone line has been turned off....my mom said she hasn't paid the bill since we moved in...that's just great. Now everyone harasses me to use my cell phone. It's really quite annoying. Esp when I ask jess who she's calling "oh...dan....to ask him something..." who the fuck is dan and why do you need to call him so badly that you're using my minutes?? hmmm

I gotta head of to work.
Loves

Ok, first of all...I WON MY EBAY AUCTION! WOOT! I beat the other guy by 50cents in the last 10 seconds. I RAWK! I was really nervous and it was some crazy rush for me, i hope i don't become an ebay addict. Maybe i should start selling shit on ebay...yeah...yeah :)

Uhmm today, monday, is Eoin's birthday :) Happy 21st E :) The poor guy got to spend the day rolling around in mud with cute guys in cammies, i'm SO jealous. I wish my birthday was that much fun.

ALSO today: My mom got into a motorcycle accident. She was NOT wearing a helmet. We all rushed down to the hospital and ended up waiting around for hours before we could see her. She needed stitches on the back of her head, and her leg is one massive scrape and bruise. She didn't break any bones..that's good. The doctors wouldn't tell us, but they told her that her brain is bleeding and that she may need to have surgery. She's coherent and can talk fine. They're moving her from Avista in Louisville to St. Anthony's in Denver. We'll see what happens. I already have two ppl on praying patrol, if anyone would like to send their positive karmic energies over my mom's way i'm sure it will be helpful and most appreciated.

I have to get up for work tomorrow morning early. I hope i can sleep. I've been having trouble falling asleep lately and i don't think this will help much...tho i did cry quite a bit today...that kinda drained me. We'll see.

LOVES

Thursday: I woke up and went over to Gabe's house. Hung out with him and grayson. I wasn't expecting Grayson to show up but we all sat and watched episode after episode of the old Twilight Zone...it was fun. They were all related to time travel some how, must have been some theme marathon or something.

Friday: Uhmm, went to super target and got laundry stuff, went to dinner with my brother, then spent all night doing laundry. I played dark age and talked to neil. Bob should be home today, maybe i can do something with him this weekend if he's free.

Saturday so far :) My brother thinks i need to go through all my MP3s and rename the files so they are logical and coherant. I think I might do that later today.
The main drain to the house is clogged or something so my mom says i can't do laundry for a while. That sucks cause i didn't get it all done last night. I tried to pour my melted blizzard in the toilet and flush it down, but the toilet won't flush either. That's a problem....a big problem...yep...

I bought my sister the first harry potter book, she's really excited. She told my mom that she wanted to read the harry potter books...and that's reall good because my sister doesn't like to read anything, and it really only takes one or two good books to spark a love of reading...but my mom just laughed at her...my mom is a giant whore. And no i don't feel bad about saying that about my mother, not at this juncture anyways. SO, i went and got it for her and jess is really really happy. She ran and told my mom that i bought her the book because i love her :) go jess! shove it in her face!

Uhmm, what else. OH YEAH! I found something i want on Ebay. I've only ever bid on one thing on ebay before and i didn't win :( I'm a complete ebay noob and i REALLY REALLY REALLY want this thing. Wish me luck, pray, coss your fingers, whatever you feel might help the karmic forcdes decide to let me win. I WANT IT!!!!!!!!! what is it you're asking? Temple of the Winds by Terry Goodking unabridged on audio cassette. I've already read the series, but my brother and I like to listen to books on tape at work, it makes work super fun instead of just fun. This is the next one we need and retail it goes for $40 and is hard to find. I WANT IT! The auctioin ends tomorrow so we'll see.

:) loves

My kitty finally passed that lump of crap that had him all bound up. He's home and a lot happier now :) Thank for praying for him Hampy :)

I cut myself opening a can of cat food and it stings really bad. I have a spongebob squarepants bandaid on it, so i'm sure it will be fine.

I'm going to see gabe tomorrow morning, then it's off to work, and then off to class.

I should head to bed. Sweet dreams everyone :)

LOVES

I think my kitty Cheetah is dying. He's acting really funny right now, hiding under my desk. He won't purr or respond to his name. I saw him squatting about 5 times trying to take a poo but nothing came out and he was drooling like a mad man. I took him to the vet and the vet jammed his finger up his bum and a thermometer. He didn't like that at all. But the vet said that he wasn't constipated. They took blood to do some bloodwork...i get the results tomorrow. They shaved the fur from his neck and a little on his arm...poor kitty. I hope he's ok. I cried a lot, i don't want my kitty to die.

It cost me $117 for the one visit and bloodwork. If he ends up being really sick i think i'm going to have to make the decision to put him to sleep :( I don't want him to suffer.

I have to go, work in the morning. Pray for my kitty Cheetah. LOVES

I love sunday night dinners :) Tonight it was at cindy and craig's house. We had pasta, salad, bread, and brownies & ice cream. We watched Xmen on TV. Next weekend is Tara's weekend. Gabe said that dinners aren't the same when i'm not there...i seem to bring everything together i guess. So next weekend if it's ok with Tara then we might try being at the SAME sunday night dinner. It may prove to be too uncomfortable for either one of us so we may never do it again, but we MAY give it a shot.

Apparently Tara has 2 boyfriends other than gabe. She doesn't get the emotional goodness she needs from gabe so she gets it from some guy in golden, and a guy in California named FABIO.

I played DAOC today. I doubt I'll be getting my epic done any time soon. Twink and my guild never have time. Or....never want to make time. OH WELL, my epic armor is really ugly anyways.

Well, i should head off to bed, school tomorrow and my nipples are tender :/

LOVES

I woke up at 11:30 but I stayed in bed until 1:00 watching TV. Then i got up and did a little laundry and played some dark age...watched a little more TV. I took a shower. I waited all day for Eoin to call but he didn't. He's probably too busy crawling in the dirt with a bunch of guys in uniform, damn i'm jealous...i want to be rolling in mud with guys in uniform. DAMN. I wouldn't mind rolling around in the mud with him i guess...but i shouldn't be saying that.

I think i have PMS really badly today because again i ate my own weight in chocolate and then i go from being happy to mad to sad to fine all in about 15 minutes. I'll be fine tho....i already apologized to jess and caitlin for being a bitch once i realized what my beef was.

I think my computer might have a virus or something. It's been slow as hell lately and acting kinda funny. I've been downloading some mp3s. I'm worried.

Am i weird because i think the lead singer of Weezer (Rivers Cuomo), and the lead singer of the late Smashing Pumpkins (Billy Corgan), and the lead singer of Queens of the Stone Age (Josh Homme) are all kinda cute...maybe even sexy? I think i might be a little twisted. eh? Damn they're dreamy...err uhh...

Anyways, i'm scanning my puter for viruses so i should run. Later

Loves

I need a life. I got a new purse today, it's pretty cool. I got some new blue stationary to write eoin with, it's really nice. I had dinner at my dad's house.

I want to go out with my friends :( Do i smell? hmm

Maybe next friday.

Sweet dreams. loves

I must have slept really really wrong last night because i woke up with a sore back and a sore throat. I don't know what kind of odd sleeping position will cause a sore throat....hmm...i wonder if i sleep walk...

I had lunch with John today. We went to the hungry toad. It was really yummy. It wasn't as good as it could have been tho cause right now i'm on a HUGE mexican kick and that's really ALL i want to eat...that and grapefruit. I should stop by the store and pick up some more. I stopped by Logos to get my OTHER friend John his birthday present but the store had nothing in it, it closed.... now i don't know where i'm going to get the gift. I'd mention it here and ask for suggestions but i think he reads my livejournal so i won't. IT'S GOING TO BE A SURPRISE JOHN!

I've been eating my own weight in chocolate lately. That's not good. I think i have a lot on my mind and unfortunately it's all stuff that i'll be keeping to myself for a while still. It really sucks to be stressed out about stuff that you can't tell a soul. Oh well, it isn't the first time.

I miss Eoin a lot. I would give gabe's left nut, and probably eoin's too if i could go to NC and see him. I don't understand why. I'm rather craving adventure right now and i don't see any adventure in my near future and it's depressing me. I'm tired of the usual.

OH Jess is going back to school :) She started back at Quest yesterday. I"m super super proud of her. She did it all on her own. She didn't have anyone make her, or yelling at her....she just decided she wanted to go to school. She went to quest and talked to them about her situation and so she won't have to pay the tuition. I can't express how proud I am of her right now.

My brother moves to Florida on April 20th. I'm super sad to see him go. If i think i'm a wee bit lonely now, just think how sad i'll be when my brothah-frien is gone :( /cry

Work is going well. I really enjoy it. Bob says i have shipping in my blood. I get to work with my bro and listen to robert jordan and terry goodkind books on tape the whole time.

I should go to bed, I think i'll go to work in the morning before school. I hope Eoin calls me tomorrow morning when he's on Lunch.

Sweet Dreams everyone. Especially you hampy. /loves

I'm up late again and i shouldn't be. I think i'm trying to avoid responsibility. That's not good.

I'm having lunch with Gabe tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.

Eoin didn't call me today. I'm worried that he didn't make it to NC ok. He had better call me tomorrow or i'm gonna REALLY worry. I got him a box of Life cereal and i need an address to send it to. I hope he's ok.

When he was here he gave me some green USMC sweat pants and they're SO comfy. I LOVE THEM! I want to wear them all the time now. When i fold over the top twice they make my butt look good too :) YAY.

K, i'm getting loopy. I should head off to bed.

LOVES